It's not over

This weekend we were kid free. It was strange. The house was quiet (even with 2 dogs and 1 kitten). Colin and I decided that we would actually go out and do something, so we went out for drinks on Friday and then to dinner Saturday with friends. What's funny, is this is the most interaction we've had in a long time. The after effects of cancer are still with us daily. Nowadays we are more like roommates than husband and wife and that's sad, but it's our reality. We're 27 and 25 and dealing with what most couples deal with two times our age.

After talking, I realized that it's hard on him too. People ask how I am doing or how Kolton is, but no one ever really asks how he's handling things. Menopause sucks for me with the hot flashes and mood swings, but he has to deal with all of the other side effects... and let's just say it's no fun for him. Thankfully he doesn't get mad at me or frustrated, but I always feel bad that we're so young and dealing with these issues.

My treatment plan is for five years. FIVE YEARS! Now don't get me wrong, I am beyond thankful that this treatment exists because it is lowering my chance of a recurrence by more than 50%. But I just want people to know that just because I am done with chemo and surgeries, cancer isn't affecting me anymore, because it is. It's a daily struggle with the hot flashes, not being able to sleep well, having exactly zero sex drive (at 27 that's rough), dealing with the daily excruciating pain in my body, having 20 or more bruises on my body for no apparent reason, taking numerous pills daily, getting a horrible shot monthly, etc. Now I am not complaining because, hey at least I'm still here, and that's what's important. It's just frustrating after fighting for so long and so hard that all of these side effects are still here and not going away any time soon.

We'll see how this goes

http://youtu.be/AuR9gBAQQaQ

I tried my hand at a vlog this week 😳, so check out the link above!

Another anniversary

I can't believe tomorrow is December 15th! For most people that day means little, but for me and my family it is a day that my entire outlook on life changed. Day one of chemo. Colin doesn't get why I remember these dates and it's hard to explain it, but all of this is a part of me now. I can't forget. Every time I have a hot flash I'm reminded of everything all over again. It never leaves. There is always a part of me that is scared of a reoccurrence. Unless you've experienced cancer first hand, you probably think I'm crazy.

Just thinking about this past year I get emotional. Joyful that I made it through stronger, exhausted when I think what all I've done, amazed at how time has flown by, and so many more.

Here's to a year filled with tough battles, lots of needles, more doctor appointments than I ever want to have again, and realizing that I am so much stronger than I ever realized. Cancer, I hate your stinking guts still, but you've taught me more in a year than most learn in a lifetime.

AD

Hi again

I'm sorry I've been so absent. Life has just been crazy (when hasn't it though?). On Timehop this morning I was reminded that one year ago was when I first started this blog. I have to say thank you to my boss for encouraging me to begin this to share my "journey". This blog has been an outlet for me. A savior of some sorts. I just want to say thank you for letting me share with you all.

This past year has been filled with laughter, tears, perseverance, stubbornness, hopelessness, nausea, pain, new experiences, and so many silver linings. It sounds crazy, but I would not have changed any of this if I could. Yes, going through cancer, chemo, IVF, and three surgeries was absolutely insane, but I have been blessed beyond belief throughout this past year. During my hiatus the past month and a half, I had the opportunity to do some pretty cool things. Have I mentioned I'm a HUGE sports fan? More specifically, I'm a huge Cleveland sports fan! On Mother's Day I was honored as the "Honorary Bat Girl" through the MLB and got to throw out the first pitch at the Indians game; and on October 18th I went to my first Browns game. The best part of the Browns game was that they were playing the Broncos... (just kidding, but that was pretty awesome)! The 18th was Cleveland's Breast Cancer Awareness game and the American Cancer Society had a huge pink ribbon that was being displayed on the field during the pregame show. Colin and I were selected to be part of that because I was nominated by my mom and cousin for this awesome opportunity.

The game was absolutely amazing and absolutely FREEZING! I know Columbus isn't that far south, but it's far enough to get away from the lake and that crazy weather. For my first game, being able to go down on the field was crazy. Colin and I took so many pictures. We got to watch Peyton Manning warm up and got some pretty cool pictures (from that too far away). Emmanuel Sanders, Demaryius Thomas, and Bradley Roby were also warming up by us, so we got some pretty great pictures of them as well! Here are just a few...

It was so much fun. But of course, the Browns were the Browns and lost a game they should have won... Go figure! The coolest part of the whole experience was seeing... JOHN ELWAY. He walked right past us and Colin decided to shout... "You're John Elway" as if he didn't already know that.

Also during my hiatus, I got to take my official #sisterhoodofthetravelingpinkwig pictures! Thank you to my step-dad and mom for running around downtown Columbus with me the in cold weather (while they were sick) to take these. I am so excited to see how they all turn out when they're done, but here's just a sneak preview...

Don't you just love that shirt? I stood strong. I fought hard. I WON!

I am so excited to share with you all that my third and hopefully final surgery is this Friday! WOO HOO! No more boulders in my chest! I cannot put into words how excited I am about this!!! Thankfully this is only an outpatient procedure, so no hospital stays for me. I kindly ask for any positive thoughts or prayers to be sent my family's way for an easy surgery and fast recovery.

Again, thank you all for keeping up with me and letting me share with you.

Until next time...

AD

Last step!

After 13 months of my life turning upside down, I can FINALLY see the light at the end of the tunnel! My LAST surgery is scheduled!!! While this journey will never be quite "over" it's a great feeling to have my final surgery scheduled.

Last year the holidays were different to put it nicely. It wasn't how I wanted to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Years, but I didn't have a choice really. I am really looking forward to spending the holidays this year with a renewed outlook on life and with family. For some, it's the only time of the year where we see them and last year we missed out. Having two families that live so close to one another is a blessing and a curse all at once... But the holidays are the one time I am so truly grateful for being able to spend time with everyone... Even if it does run Colin and I ragged.

In other news... It's Breast Cancer Awareness month and I have become, well you could say, famous. I was featured in the "pink" section of a local newspaper this past Sunday where I did an interview of my experience with breast cancer at such a young age. It was great to be able to share my story in the hopes that it helps someone dealing with this awful disease. That's what I hope about this blog too, that me sharing this experience, both good, bad, and ugly, will help someone in some small way. I try to be real and honest, because it's definitely not all sunshine and pink ribbons... It's so much more than that! Here is the article with a photo of my sweet baby boy and me!

Also, and this may be the most exciting of all... I was one of the survivors selected to attend the Browns game this Sunday!!! AND I get to go ON THE FIELD 😁! If you can't tell, I'm super excited for this opportunity. I am a life-long Browns fan and this will be my first game, so I'm hoping they can pull of another win this week (yea I know, it's the Browns 😂).

Well, until next time...

AD

The day my life changed forever

September 29, 2014 is the day my entire life changed. It was around 2pm on a Monday while I was on vacation. Since I am in my twenties, I never even had a thought about cancer. Cancer is for old people and for unhealthy people, I was neither. But I received a very rude awakening when my doctor finally uttered "the biopsy results came back and your lump is malignant.

I had breast cancer. Cancer had a face now, and it was me!

This past year has been a roller coaster of emotion. I've undergone two surgeries (soon to be three), IVF, and 16 chemotherapy treatments. I did this all while having a toddler at home, working, and still going to classes to pursue my MBA. Thankfully though, I had an army working for and with me. My doctors have been nothing short of fantastic and I am grateful to have doctors who did not brush me off because of my age. My family, near and far, supported and encouraged me through my entire treatment. And my husband and son were there through everything and helped me laugh through it all. I couldn't have made it through without all of their help. Also, my coworkers who supported me and brought some great meals, and even better desserts!

So to celebrate my one year survivorship anniversary my mom and I hit the road, to Washington, D.C. 

We attended the ACS CAN Lights of Hope event. They were urging Congress to increase financial support for cancer research. There was so much passion and drive with this group and it was great to celebrate my one year anniversary with them. It wasn't ideal weather, actually it was horrible weather!the rain did not stop us though! We heard from two big advocates for cancer research, Marcia Cross and Chris Draft (retired NFL player). We also got to hear from a ACS CAN Ambassador who is a cancer survivor (at age 13) who is now pursuing her PhD in biology so she can continue cancer research at Johns Hopkins. Her message really stood out to me, you're never truly done with cancer. You can never go back to the way things were "before cancer", that life is gone and you have to try and find your "new normal". I am still trying to find my new normal and it isn't easy.

It may sound crazy, but cancer has changed my life quite a bit, but mostly for the better. I am a better person now than the one who started this journey just a year ago. I have also been blessed with 13 breast friends who are all kick ass survivors! Meeting these women has been my biggest blessing on cancer, my silver lining. They understand what I have and am going through because they have faced the same obstacles. I talk to them daily and they are there to help me if I am having a hard day, but even better, they are there to celebrate the victories with me. Our victories may not always been huge, but sometimes making it through a day in one piece is an accomplishment and no ones understands better than them. I am forever grateful for their friendship, support, and encouragement.

Until next time...

AD

The day it all started

It was a Saturday like any other in the fall. Ohio State was playing Kent State that day. I was getting ready to shower when it happen, a sharp pain in my left breast. I thought maybe I had a bruise I didn't know about, that happens a lot. I looked in the mirror, but didn't see anything. So I started feeling around and there it was, a lump. I was instantly scared. I didn't know what to do, so I made Colin feel and he felt it too. My first reaction was "What do I do?". Rather sarcastically he said "Ya go to the doctor!". I was scared to go to the doctor. I knew a lump in your breast is usually not a good thing.

Since it was a Saturday, my doctor's office wasn't open, so I did the next best thing, emailed. I went on about my day and enjoyed the Buckeyes win... And it was a good one too, 66-0!

I can't believe it has already been a year since this all started. I've been through so much since that day last fall and I like to believe I'm a different person. Cancer hasn't defined me, but it has redefined me! I can't wait until there is a day where no one has to go through this!

Happy football Sunday everyone! Kolton and I are ready to cheer on our Browns this afternoon!

If I can share one piece of advice to any woman, it would be... Don't listen to the old wives tales about lumps. My family told me that if it hurt, that was a good sign, that it wasn't cancerous... That pain basically saved my life because it made me do a self exam!

Until next time...

AD