The day of pain

I remember when I used to be afraid of needles. You would think since I have two tattoos I wouldn't be afraid of them. Well, that is completely insane. Of course I hated needles. When I had my immunizations for college they had to use a "shot blocker" on me so I wouldn't cry. I was a 17 year old in a pediatrician's office and they had to use something they normally save for little kids!

Fast forward almost ten years and that fear has completely gone out the window. I've been poked, prodded, and poked again with so many needles; at this point it doesn't even phase me. I am grateful for this because for the next 10 years I have to get a shot monthly to continue my cancer treatment. Now this is a good thing (I guess as good as it can be), because it means that my tumor was estrogen positive. An estrogen positive tumor means that they can reduce my risk of getting cancer again by putting me on hormone therapy. This is nice, but it will be for TEN YEARS. Not only do I have to get this shot once a month, I also have to take a pill daily. Now that doesn't sound too horrible in the grand scheme of things, except at 26 I have extreme hot flashes. Now most women under the age of 50 don't have to worry about these and those of you who have/had them know exactly what I am talking about. For those of you who don't, let me share a little. Hot flashes are random, which is the lovely part, I never know when one will creep up on me. This past week it has been at five in the morning when I am trying to sleep and I wake up sweating and have to turn the air down just to go back to sleep. I feel like I am in a freaking rainforest. The temperature is 90+ degrees and the humidity is at 100%. That's what my hot flash feels like. Let me tell you, they're not fun.

Even worse than the hot flashes that the shot/pill combo cause is the shot itself. Now I still don't like watching myself get prodded with needles, so I tend to look away. Apparently this shot (which for my nursing and medical friends - it's subq) is not a normal one. There is no liquid injected rather it is a pellet, yes I said a PELLET that is injected under my skin that absorbs over the course of four weeks. So with this pellet being injected, it's not a normal needle. I've given myself and have gotten subq shots before and they're easy peasy lemon squeezy. This most definitely was NOT easy. First I have to be lying complete flat (which isn't comfortable with these lovely expanders in right now). Second, it's a rather large gauge for this pellet to fit through. Thankful I had a wonderful nurse who made me put ice my on stomach for a good ten minutes before she gave me the shot. My stomach was nice and cold/numb so she had me look away and I didn't feel anything.

Since I have to do this monthly, she called in a prescription for topical numbing cream, so I don't always have to wait around for the ice to do it's magic. And for those of you who are wondering how large this needle was, let me share this story... There was a nurse who was learning how to give this injection (it's rare, but becoming more popular). Well her and my husband were with me when I got the shot and I was looking away before the needle was uncapped. When it was uncapped I hear simultaneous gasps from the two of them and horrified looks on their faces because of how big this needle was. Thankfully the ice did it's job and I was numb enough to not feel anything.

This day was definitely a day of pain, but in the long run this is the easy part of the ride.

Until next time...

AD