Well today is the day. The last huge leap in this whole process, another surgery.
Last night was my "last meal" since I couldn't eat or drink anything after midnight. We went out to Lindey's and may have had the best steak we've ever eaten. It was definitely a great meal to end on! We didn't have the same waitress or even see Emily, but the valet remembered us. Such a small world.
I was making myself nervous yesterday evening. I had to do the dishes and wash every piece of dirty laundry in our house to keep busy. Nervous jitters, sure lets blame that. Right now I am three hours away from my arrival time and I don't know what to do with myself. In order to try and find some peace and one last workout in, I went to yoga at 6am. Yes, I said 6am. It was hard to wake up, but well worth it. I'll have plenty of time to sleep during surgery. Yoga has truly been a release for me. A place to meditate, to forget about everything I've been through and will go through, and just be.
I know I sound like a crazy yogi, but I always leave happier than I went in. That's huge for me. Some people have the same feeling about running. I understand the feeling, but don't get the running part!
I'm sorry this is such a short post, my mind is running a mile a minute and I'm just trying to keep up. I am terrified about this surgery. Not so much the actual surgery or even the physical pain for that matter. I'm afraid of the mirror, of what I will look like afterward. They make medication for the pain, but they don't make anything to make it easier to see where a part of me used to be.
Well, I think I still have more laundry to do!
Until next time...
AD
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
I'm a survivor
Cue the Reba McEntire song. And now cue the tears from me.
This past Saturday was very emotional. The Susan G. Komen Race for a Cure was held in Columbus. The largest in the country. It's crazy to think that there were 30,000 people registered to run/walk in our beautiful city.
I figured the day would be kind of emotional because it was the first time I was participating, and I was one of the "lucky" ones to be in the survivor category. The survivor ceremony was incredible. So many strong women (and men) being honored by so many. There were cheers, hugs, high fives, and so much love and respect.
This past Saturday was very emotional. The Susan G. Komen Race for a Cure was held in Columbus. The largest in the country. It's crazy to think that there were 30,000 people registered to run/walk in our beautiful city.
I figured the day would be kind of emotional because it was the first time I was participating, and I was one of the "lucky" ones to be in the survivor category. The survivor ceremony was incredible. So many strong women (and men) being honored by so many. There were cheers, hugs, high fives, and so much love and respect.
There were survivors there with signs; 6 year survivor, 1 year survivor, 3 weeks, mine at 2 weeks, and the best sign I saw was 49 year survivor. There is hope out there. There is a cure to be found. I'm thankful every day that even though I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 26 that there is so much of a spot light on this disease and that there are people working diligently to find a cure.
- Fewer than 5% of all breast cancer diagnosed in the U.S. occur in women under 40 (http://ww5.komen.org/BreastCancer/YoungWomenandBreastCancer.html).
- Also, most who are diagnosed before 40 face much more aggressive cancers.
Just writing this post I am becoming very emotional. When you're in your twenties and younger, you think you're invincible. Well I'm here to tell you, you're not. Our time on this earth is limited. You never know when it's your time. It could be tomorrow, a year from now, 20 years from now, or it could be 50 years from now. It could be a car accident, a heart attack, a stroke, cancer, or natural causes. There are no guarantees in this life. My breast cancer diagnosis really made me think hard about my life and what is important. Before my diagnosis I'm sure all of my family would tell you that I was an anal retentive person who didn't really know how to relax. My husband would sure tell you that! I got mad over little unimportant things and I would really let things bother me if they weren't done my way or quickly when I asked. I'm sure I was probably a bear to be around when I got in one of those moods. Now I know that it's ok to let dishes sit for a few hours (or days) if it means that I get to spend time outside with Kolton or the dogs. That it's ok to not have a spotless house. That's it's not worth getting upset over someone driving too slow, or not acting like you want them too, or when things aren't going how you planned. It doesn't matter. What does matter is that you spend time with those you love and tell them all the time that you love and cherish your time with them. That you spend your days doing things you enjoy and around people who enjoy your company. Those are the things that matter. The dishes can wait, but blowing bubbles with a 22 month old and seeing how happy it makes him can't.
We're not guaranteed much on this earth. The best we can do is surround ourselves with others who support us, love us, challenge us, and best of make us laugh.
This year has been especially hard and with another surgery just around the corner, it won't get easier any time soon. This blog has been a positive outlet for me and I am also thankful that you take the time to read and let me share this awful, emotional, wonderful, and terrifying journey with you.
Until next time...
AD
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Post chemo life
I am two and a half weeks out from my last chemotherapy treatment. It's weird to think that back in December when I started treatment I thought April was so far away, that it would NEVER get here. And now it's May! Time really does fly by, and not just when you're having fun.
These two and a half weeks have been nice. Working five days a week was a little weird at first, but I think I'm back in to the swing of things now! I still go to bed before 10pm most nights, so I guess I can't really blame my treatments for that anymore. I think I just have to live with the fact that I am a 26 year old with the body of an 86 year old! That's ok though.
I have had a pretty eventful last few days. The last time I shared with you, it was announced that I had won the Honorary Bat Girl contest of the Cleveland Indians. Well this past Sunday was the game where I got to throw out the first pitch. IT WAS FREAKING AWESOME! I was unbelievably nervous, but had a blast at the game and on the field. I had so many family members there cheering me on and to top it all off, it was Mother's Day. Colin - you're going to have a hard time topping that for years to come!
We got to the park about two hours before the game started and got to watch batting practice and just enjoy the stadium before going down on the field. It was a surreal feeling stepping out of the stands and on to the grass. I felt like I was breaking the rules, like I shouldn't be doing this. I was sad I didn't get to meet any of the players, but Terry Francona did walk right in front of me, so that was pretty cool! And I saw Sandy Alomar from afar!
It turned out to be a beautiful day, definitely hot, but beautiful. We got to hang out in the suites behind the dugout before throwing out the first pitch and I did two interviews which was kind of cool. You can read the article here, http://m.indians.mlb.com/news/article/123621324/alecia-dennis-has-mothers-day-to-remember?adbid=10153296137019521&adbpl=fb&adbpr=46104914520&partnerId=as_cle_20150511_45557096&short_code=2ysm0.
Kolton and Colin got to come on the field with me. I think we have a life long Indians fan in Kolton now. He loved playing with the baseball I got for the first pitch and surprisingly was able to carry around (well drag really) the pink Louisville Slugger I received as well. On the field there were actually a lot of people since it was the Pink Ribbon Game. So before the first (and second) pitch, there was a human pink ribbon formed out in center field. It was great to see so much support.
And now... the first pitch. https://vine.co/v/emdXHELepP5
I MADE IT ACROSS THE PLATE!!! Slider just needs to learn how to catch!
I had so much fun at the game and was so excited to celebrate Mother's Day with my mom, grandma, aunt, cousin, step mom, sister-in-laws, and all of my other family members. It was truly a day to remember!
If that wasn't enough excitement for one weekend, let me tell you about my Saturday... My family is sneaky.
On Saturday morning my cousin, who came in for the weekend from PA, treated us to pedicures. We got to hang out and catch up, and get pretty toes! I thought she was doing this just because we hadn't seen each other in a while and she recently found out she was pregnant, so it was a way to celebrate her great news and me being done with chemo. Boy was I wrong... she was charged with getting me out of the house and keeping me occupied...
After listening to my husband "complain" on the phone that my mom wanted us to meet them at some park to get pictures we left Old Navy to head to the park. After arriving, Colin came out to greet me with a shirt to put on... our Relay for Life t-shirts (which are pretty cool I have to say). I was wondering why I was going in to the building on site.
When I walked in I was shocked to see ALL of my family there cheering for me. My mom had planned a surprise party to celebrate the end of my chemo treatment. I had my in-laws there, my mom's side of the family, my dad's side of the family, my step-mom's family, my step-dad's family, family from Maryland, friends, and even my best friend drive in from Pittsburgh. I couldn't believe it. So many people there to celebrate with me!
This past weekend was so eventful that I still think I am recovering! I had so much fun and was surprised that everyone was able to keep a secret like that from me for so long. It was great to see everyone and I had the best Mother's Day weekend!
Until next time...
AD
These two and a half weeks have been nice. Working five days a week was a little weird at first, but I think I'm back in to the swing of things now! I still go to bed before 10pm most nights, so I guess I can't really blame my treatments for that anymore. I think I just have to live with the fact that I am a 26 year old with the body of an 86 year old! That's ok though.
I have had a pretty eventful last few days. The last time I shared with you, it was announced that I had won the Honorary Bat Girl contest of the Cleveland Indians. Well this past Sunday was the game where I got to throw out the first pitch. IT WAS FREAKING AWESOME! I was unbelievably nervous, but had a blast at the game and on the field. I had so many family members there cheering me on and to top it all off, it was Mother's Day. Colin - you're going to have a hard time topping that for years to come!
We got to the park about two hours before the game started and got to watch batting practice and just enjoy the stadium before going down on the field. It was a surreal feeling stepping out of the stands and on to the grass. I felt like I was breaking the rules, like I shouldn't be doing this. I was sad I didn't get to meet any of the players, but Terry Francona did walk right in front of me, so that was pretty cool! And I saw Sandy Alomar from afar!
It turned out to be a beautiful day, definitely hot, but beautiful. We got to hang out in the suites behind the dugout before throwing out the first pitch and I did two interviews which was kind of cool. You can read the article here, http://m.indians.mlb.com/news/article/123621324/alecia-dennis-has-mothers-day-to-remember?adbid=10153296137019521&adbpl=fb&adbpr=46104914520&partnerId=as_cle_20150511_45557096&short_code=2ysm0.
Kolton and Colin got to come on the field with me. I think we have a life long Indians fan in Kolton now. He loved playing with the baseball I got for the first pitch and surprisingly was able to carry around (well drag really) the pink Louisville Slugger I received as well. On the field there were actually a lot of people since it was the Pink Ribbon Game. So before the first (and second) pitch, there was a human pink ribbon formed out in center field. It was great to see so much support.
And now... the first pitch. https://vine.co/v/emdXHELepP5
I MADE IT ACROSS THE PLATE!!! Slider just needs to learn how to catch!
I had so much fun at the game and was so excited to celebrate Mother's Day with my mom, grandma, aunt, cousin, step mom, sister-in-laws, and all of my other family members. It was truly a day to remember!
If that wasn't enough excitement for one weekend, let me tell you about my Saturday... My family is sneaky.
On Saturday morning my cousin, who came in for the weekend from PA, treated us to pedicures. We got to hang out and catch up, and get pretty toes! I thought she was doing this just because we hadn't seen each other in a while and she recently found out she was pregnant, so it was a way to celebrate her great news and me being done with chemo. Boy was I wrong... she was charged with getting me out of the house and keeping me occupied...
After listening to my husband "complain" on the phone that my mom wanted us to meet them at some park to get pictures we left Old Navy to head to the park. After arriving, Colin came out to greet me with a shirt to put on... our Relay for Life t-shirts (which are pretty cool I have to say). I was wondering why I was going in to the building on site.
When I walked in I was shocked to see ALL of my family there cheering for me. My mom had planned a surprise party to celebrate the end of my chemo treatment. I had my in-laws there, my mom's side of the family, my dad's side of the family, my step-mom's family, my step-dad's family, family from Maryland, friends, and even my best friend drive in from Pittsburgh. I couldn't believe it. So many people there to celebrate with me!
This past weekend was so eventful that I still think I am recovering! I had so much fun and was surprised that everyone was able to keep a secret like that from me for so long. It was great to see everyone and I had the best Mother's Day weekend!
Until next time...
AD
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)