Bald and beautiful

Just a short post today. I went and had my white blood cell booster shot this morning and this one went over much better than the last! Some Claritin D and Tylenol really did the trick (thanks to all who gave me this advice). I've felt pretty good all day and even had the energy to do some laundry (wash and fold- not putting it away, now that takes too much energy), do the dishes, and the biggest, most heartbreaking thing was getting my head shaved.

For the past couple days my scalp had been really sore and I was told that's usually the first sign of hair loss. I had been preparing myself for this moment since early November, but nothing can compare to the moment you run your fingers through your hair and all you get is a big clump of your own hair... I had a mini breakdown in the shower and made my husband come look at our drain. This is what we both saw...

It really hit me then.

I was losing my hair. Right now.

After my breakdown, I tracked down my hairstylist's phone number and thankfully she had an opening today. I was taking control. I was making the decision. It was my choice. I was going to just shave it all off.

Katy was wonderful and took me to the back of the salon so it could be a private moment. I'm not going to lie, there were tears shed, by all three of us (Colin was there too). It was an interesting feeling seeing so much hair sitting in my lap. I had never seen that much of my own hair on the floor before! But Katy was again fantastic and after she was done she washed my scalp and put on a scarf I had brought. While this was a traumatizing experience, well all of this has been, I felt powerful and beautiful. I just kept saying, "I hope I don't have a deformed head so maybe I can rock being bald." Katy reassured me that I had a beautiful head and that I could definitely rock it. So thank you Katy!

This is me, and my Starbucks, after my shaving event. My husband said there were stares while we were in Stabucks, but I knew that would happen! Thankfully I have a strong spirit and an army of supporters behind me, so no look or stare is going to bring me down. I'm going to keep my chin up and know that I'm fighting a battle everyday and it's just hair. Losing your hair is personal and emotional, but this is my reminder that I'm a fighter everyday and that it's ok to not have my brown, thick locks for the time being. Who knows, maybe my hair will grow back blonde and curly. I wonder what my husband will think of that?!

Well now that I've shown you me with a head scarf, here is me rocking my Natalie Portman/Demi Moore GI Jane bald head!

Thank you all for taking this journey with me. Until next time.

AD