Post chemo life

I am two and a half weeks out from my last chemotherapy treatment. It's weird to think that back in December when I started treatment I thought April was so far away, that it would NEVER get here. And now it's May! Time really does fly by, and not just when you're having fun.

These two and a half weeks have been nice. Working five days a week was a little weird at first, but I think I'm back in to the swing of things now! I still go to bed before 10pm most nights, so I guess I can't really blame my treatments for that anymore. I think I just have to live with the fact that I am a 26 year old with the body of an 86 year old! That's ok though.

I have had a pretty eventful last few days. The last time I shared with you, it was announced that I had won the Honorary Bat Girl contest of the Cleveland Indians. Well this past Sunday was the game where I got to throw out the first pitch. IT WAS FREAKING AWESOME! I was unbelievably nervous, but had a blast at the game and on the field. I had so many family members there cheering me on and to top it all off, it was Mother's Day. Colin - you're going to have a hard time topping that for years to come!

We got to the park about two hours before the game started and got to watch batting practice and just enjoy the stadium before going down on the field. It was a surreal feeling stepping out of the stands and on to the grass. I felt like I was breaking the rules, like I shouldn't be doing this. I was sad I didn't get to meet any of the players, but Terry Francona did walk right in front of me, so that was pretty cool! And I saw Sandy Alomar from afar!

It turned out to be a beautiful day, definitely hot, but beautiful. We got to hang out in the suites behind the dugout before throwing out the first pitch and I did two interviews which was kind of cool. You can read the article here, http://m.indians.mlb.com/news/article/123621324/alecia-dennis-has-mothers-day-to-remember?adbid=10153296137019521&adbpl=fb&adbpr=46104914520&partnerId=as_cle_20150511_45557096&short_code=2ysm0.

Kolton and Colin got to come on the field with me. I think we have a life long Indians fan in Kolton now. He loved playing with the baseball I got for the first pitch and surprisingly was able to carry around (well drag really) the pink Louisville Slugger I received as well. On the field there were actually a lot of people since it was the Pink Ribbon Game. So before the first (and second) pitch, there was a human pink ribbon formed out in center field. It was great to see so much support.

And now... the first pitch. https://vine.co/v/emdXHELepP5

I MADE IT ACROSS THE PLATE!!! Slider just needs to learn how to catch!

I had so much fun at the game and was so excited to celebrate Mother's Day with my mom, grandma, aunt, cousin, step mom, sister-in-laws, and all of my other family members. It was truly a day to remember!

If that wasn't enough excitement for one weekend, let me tell you about my Saturday... My family is sneaky.

On Saturday morning my cousin, who came in for the weekend from PA, treated us to pedicures. We got to hang out and catch up, and get pretty toes! I thought she was doing this just because we hadn't seen each other in a while and she recently found out she was pregnant, so it was a way to celebrate her great news and me being done with chemo. Boy was I wrong... she was charged with getting me out of the house and keeping me occupied...

After listening to my husband "complain" on the phone that my mom wanted us to meet them at some park to get pictures we left Old Navy to head to the park. After arriving, Colin came out to greet me with a shirt to put on... our Relay for Life t-shirts (which are pretty cool I have to say). I was wondering why I was going in to the building on site.

When I walked in I was shocked to see ALL of my family there cheering for me. My mom had planned a surprise party to celebrate the end of my chemo treatment. I had my in-laws there, my mom's side of the family, my dad's side of the family, my step-mom's family, my step-dad's family, family from Maryland, friends, and even my best friend drive in from Pittsburgh. I couldn't believe it. So many people there to celebrate with me!

This past weekend was so eventful that I still think I am recovering! I had so much fun and was surprised that everyone was able to keep a secret like that from me for so long. It was great to see everyone and I had the best Mother's Day weekend!

Until next time...

AD

So much to share.

I'm apologizing in advance, this is probably going to be a rather long blog post. I just have so much to share with you all.

This caner journey has been such a long, hard road. It all started in September, and back then I NEVER thought I would make it to the end of April and chemotherapy. It all just seemed so far away, so unattainable. But here I am, seven months later and DONE with chemotherapy. Yes, I said DONE with chemo! WOOO HOOO!!!

I started my chemotherapy journey on Monday, December 15 2014. That seems like ages ago now and it was, 20 weeks is a long time. I've been through 20 weeks and 16 treatments. I've gotten to know my nurses pretty well and it's become a routine. Mondays are going to be a lot different now, man I actually have to go to work ha! I hope all the nurses liked the cupcakes my mom baked and the card I got for all of them. They truly made the difference in my treatment. I was sent off yesterday with so many hugs and congratulations and even some tears of joy. All of them saying that I had to come back and visit. I work at a University that has a pretty well known nursing program and I know a lot of our students who are studying to become nurses. If there is one piece of advice I can share with them, it's that bedside manner really does matter. Mondays were hard for me, it's not something I looked forward to. My treatments, especially in Round 1, were harsh. I left feeling groggy, kind of down, achy, nauseous, and all around not very well. But I always knew that my nurses were going to do everything they could to keep me comfortable and make my experience a little better. Whether it was asking me about my son, starting an IV when someone else had already poked me enough times, or just remembering my name (I mean I was there 16 times). SO to Chris, Jo, Kristin, Lindsay, Denise, Meghan, Susan, and all of the other nurses that I can't remember off the top of my head... Thank you.

It was a big party back in the infusion suite too. My grandma, my mom, dad, stepdad, and brother were all with me. I even got a big (and little) surprise when my husband and little man showed up before I got to ring the bell. Ringing that bell in the infusion suite is a big deal. It signifies that you are done with your last treatment and everyone celebrates! My husband faked me out all day too. We woke up that morning and he got ready for work and left early to go to the dentist. What I didn't know is that he didn't go to work afterward... he's sneaky. He had taken the day off and didn't tell me. So when I had about ten minutes left of my treatment, an entourage came walking back to the infusion suite, led by my husband and little man.

He had picked Kolton up from daycare early so he could be there with me to celebrate. It was a wonderful surprise. As soon as I saw them I started tearing up because I was so happy that they were there to see it all. It was wonderful being able to share that moment with my family and ring that bell. Over the course of my 16 weeks there, I had heard many people ring the bell and I felt like my time was never going to come. Well yesterday it did. And I am so thankful. Kolton even helped me ring the bell (and then realized everyone was watching him and he got super shy).

All in all, it was a great day. I will forever put April 27th on my dates to remember list, along with the date I found the lump (September 13th), the date I got my diagnosis that the tumor was malignant (September 29th), and the day that I started chemotherapy (December 15th). It's been a long, hard road, but I made it out alive.

Yesterday was such a roller coaster ride for my emotions. I was happy that it was my last treatment, but also sad at the same time. I know, I know I'm crazy for being sad that this awful part of my life is done. But it has been such a part of my life for so long now, that it just seems normal. I mean, I'm even starting to get some hair back on my head - now let me tell you, that's weird. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I kind of enjoy the ease of my morning routine with no hair. It's been very refreshing.

And speaking of emotions, yesterday I was reminded that there are wonderful people in the world. With all of the news coverage of riots, police brutality, inequality, and death I saw a glimmer of all that is good about the human race. My family and I celebrated my chemo journey ending with a big linner (it was 3:30, so now quite dinner) at Lindey's in German Village. If you don't know anything about Lindey's, check it out http://www.lindeys.com/, it's delicious.

Well our waitress asked us if we were celebrating anything when we sat down, so of course we told her about just finishing my last chemo treatment. Colin even made a joke about my meal being taken care of! Feather said if it was up to her everything would be taken care of, but that her manager probably wouldn't like that. We went about our business and had a wonderful meal and great service. I had a celebratory glass of wine and some amazing pasta (that I actually just finished for lunch)! Kolton even had a good time. He got two balloons from Feather and LOVED them. He had a blast playing!

We were finishing up our meal and waiting on the check when Feather came and told us that our wish came true, our bill had been taken care of. I was floored. I didn't know what to do or say. Another waitress had paid our bill for us, which was easily at least $300 (it was 8 people)! Emily came over to our table and told me her story and that she had paid our bill. Her family has also been wrecked with cancer. She shared that her grandmother, mother, and brother had all been through this battle before. I am so eternally grateful for Emily and what she did for my family yesterday. It was such a refreshing reminder of the good in people. I still tear up thinking about our conversation and her generous gift. I hope someday to be able to pay it forward to someone else who has traveled this road. I hope to go back to Lindey's and see Feather and Emily again and let them know how much their generosity and kindness affected me and my family.

I told you this would be a long one... still more news to share. I know, right - how could I top those two stories? Well this may not "top" them, but to me it's still pretty exciting... I am the Honorary Batgirl 2015 for the Cleveland Indians. Guys, I won! Thank you to all who voted and shared. I can't believe I won! I am still waiting on details from the Indians, but will be at the Mother's Day game on May 10th. I am so excited and so grateful for yet another wonderful gesture. I'm not sure if anything will be televised, but just in case, tune in to the game and look for me!!!

I think that is all for now. I'll give you a break from my ramblings. Here are just a few more pictures from yesterday.

Until next time...

AD

One more to go.

Today was treatment number 15 of 16. One more week and I will be DONE with chemo! It's so weird to say that now. Chemotherapy has been part of my "normal" routine since December and in one week it will be part of my past. These past four months have been the toughest journey of my relatively short lifetime. Not only did I have to endure chemo treatments, but IVF treatments as well. Needles mean nothing to me now. I've been sliced, poked and prodded, and injected so many times in the past five months that it doesn't even faze me.

Speaking of the IVF treatments, have I told you lately that I'm having baby fever? It's terrible. I know it will be a while before I am even able to try and have another baby, and that will be another long process itself, but man it's bad. I see so many pregnancy announcements and newborn photos on Facebook and it makes me miss being pregnant. Also, my little man is getting so big and I miss him being my little Squish. I mean seriously, look at how big he is now!

My baby came into this world six weeks early and was only 4lbs 4 oz. He spent 19 days in the NICU. At the time, I thought that was the hardest journey I would take in my life. Boy was I wrong! That was a terrifying experience, especially because there was nothing I could do to help my little guy get better. I can only image that is what my family feels like now, just having to stand by and watch me fight this battle and being helpless because there isn't anything they can do to help me fight. It's an awful feeling, but thankfully I'm a pretty stubborn person (and Kolton is too, he got that from momma and daddy) and I don't lose, so cancer picked the wrong girl!

Oh, and what makes this baby fever even worse... I'm having baby dreams! And Colin hates this, but I'm having baby dreams that we have twins... baby girl twins! I'm pretty sure we would be completely out of money if that happens, because daddy has a hard time saying "no" to a cute pouty Kolton face... it'll be even worse with a girl (especially two girls)!

Throughout this journey I have tried to keep life for my family as normal as possible. And normal for me was continuing my MBA classes. I started last fall and didn't want to take a semester off because I didn't think I would actually start again, and I have come to enjoy the work. I am so happy to share that not only am I done with my classes for the semester (as of last Thursday), but I finished this semester with an 86.6%! I am so incredibly proud of that grade. No, it's not an "A", but I had classes on Mondays and Thursdays from 6pm-9pm. And to top it off, my treatments are on Mondays. Yes, I would have treatments and then go to class for three hours. I know, I know... I'm crazy :-). In my entire 16+ years of education, I haven't ever been more proud of myself and a grade that I received.

Also, in other news, the winner of the Honorary Bat Girl Contest should be announced around Thursday. I found out Friday that I am a finalist for my Indians!!! 

Again, thank you all for letting me share my journey with you. My next post I've decided to do my own Top 10. So stay tuned for my Top 10 Things I'm Looking Forward To After Chemo!

Until next time...

AD

Time has flown by

I can't believe I only have two treatments left. It's crazy to think that I have been going through chemotherapy since December 15th. It seems like yesterday is when I found the lump and started this roller coaster ride. I have learned so much along the way about myself that I am truly thankful for this journey. No one deserves to go through a cancer battle, and that's exactly what it is... a batter. You're battling for your life to be yours again. Cancer is a part of me now, I will never get rid of that title- Cancer Survivor. But ya know what, I am damn proud of that title. I'm a survivor (insert Reba song here). My body has been pushed to it's breaking point and come back strong (a little too strong in the weight area unfortunately, damn steroid). This hasn't been an easy journey, but the end is in sight and then it's on to another long, hard road of surgery and recovery, but I'm ready for it... well as ready as I can be.

This week's treatment was pretty good too. And the best part was...

4 weeks strong of getting the IV started on the first stick! So it looks like no port for me. WOO HOO!!! Forcing myself to drink all that water has really paid off. And yes, those are my new hot pink shoes in the background of the picture :-). If I have breast cancer, I might as well get pink everything!

Also, at the end of treatment on Monday we all had a wonderful visitor in the infusion suite. She is a two year cancer survivor who wanted to pay it forward to all of us who were sitting where she was two years ago. She donated these wonderful chemo bags to all of us filled with treats and comfort items. I am so thankful for those who have traveled this road before and who are paying it forward by helping those of us who have to travel it now. I hope to be able to do that after my journey and hopefully be an inspiration to those who are dealing with their own battles.

I don't know what I am going to do with my Monday's after April 27th. My chemo journey has been a long one (20 weeks total). When the nurses told me back in December that it would be April before I knew it, I thought they were crazy. But time really has flown by and I am so thankful for my doctor and nurses at COHA. They all have made this journey a little better for me each week I am there.

This post is a little sappy, but I'm feeling sentimental right now - I blame the chemo! It's an exciting and draining time of year for me right now. Tomorrow is my last class of the semester and I have my final and a presentation. May 1st is a huge deadline for me at work, and hopefully Capital will make our class and we can celebrate! And my last chemo (hopefully) is April 27th. There is a whole lot going on these next few weeks and I am excited and nervous all at the same time.

Lastly, another plug - ha. I have been nominated for the Honorary Bat Girl for the Cleveland Indians by my husband. Please go to their website and read the stories of women who have or are battling cancer. All of us deserve this honor, but I would be grateful if you voted for me. Go to their website, http://mlb.mlb.com/honorarybatgirl/2015/gallery.jsp and click on the Indians logo at the bottom (the red C). My story is under my name, Alecia, and you can vote more than once. Voting ends tomorrow so I'm hoping to make a final push - even though I know I probably won't win... I also know someone else who has been nominated for this and she has helped me a lot through my journey, so please also read Jess Brady's story (The Brady Bunch).

Until next time...

AD

Good day, at least relatively speaking

Yesterday was a good day, relatively speaking. My appointment for treatment was early, so I got out before Noon (which is a rare occasion). Also, I'm going on three weeks in a row of getting the IV started on the first stick!!! WOOO HOOOO!!!!! And I only have three more treatments to go. Did ya hear that, THREE!!! When I started this chemo journey back in December, I thought it was never going to end and now I'm almost done. In three weeks (April 27th) I get to ring the bell and leave this part of my life behind. Unfortunately, my journey is not even close to being over. From what I've been told I'm in the easy part right now, the surgery is where it gets difficult.

I'm pretty proud of myself though and I think I should be. I've tried my hardest to not let cancer affect me and I think I've succeeded for the most part. There are days where I just feel run down and horrible, but thankfully those days are just really starting to catch up to me again. My treatment plan is 20 weeks, and ya know what, I've made it through 16 of those weeks still standing, not needing a port, and living life to the fullest (as much as I can anyway). Yes I've lost my hair, my eyelashes, my eyebrows, gained weight from the stupid steroid, and never been so tired in my entire life (not even pregnancy, which is saying a lot).

I get choked up when I start thinking about my last treatment. It's not like I am going to miss going in every Monday to get treatment, but I am going to miss the people. The nurses that I've had throughout all of this have been fabulous. They get to know you (but after 16 visits, who wouldn't) and always try to make everything as easy as they possibly can. I will be forever grateful for the nurses I've had at COHA. Oncology nurses truly are the best around because they see how taxing treatments can be, but they also get to see the difference it can make. I am always encouraged when my nurse comes out to the waiting room to get me, mainly because they know who I am now and always have a smile on their face because they know that my day is probably going to be a lot harder than theirs while I'm there. The countdown is on though... 3 more weeks! And I cannot wait.

On a different note, my Timehop reminded me today that four years ago yesterday, I got engaged.

I never would have guessed in three years of marriage that we would be going through all of this. Buying a house, having a baby two days after moving into aforementioned house, graduating college, working, and now cancer. Never in a million years would I have guessed that all of this would happen to two people so young. My husband told me that there was a reason I have cancer and he doesn't, and it's because I can handle it (he would be a big baby). This isn't a journey that I wished to have taken, but I do believe it has made our marriage stronger and each of us a little stronger for going through this so young. I am one hell of a fighter and I'm not giving up any time soon.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those with matter don't mind." - Dr. Suess

Until next time...

AD

Hate to admit it.

The end is in sight. Only four more treatments to go!! WOO HOO!

This week's treatment wasn't too bad. It was another one stick day for this girl's IV! That's two weeks in a row now!! I am trying to do everything in my power to not get a port and I have some extra motivation for that now too. My husband basically told me that if I have to get a port I will officially be on house arrest. It's getting nice out, I like the sunshine too much to be on house arrest. So I am drinking A TON of water everyday, limiting my coffee to no more than two cups a day (that stinks), and squeezing a stress ball like it's my job. Yesterday on our drive to the doctor's office, Colin made me squeeze a tennis ball the entire way. I really hate to say this, but he was right in making me do that because it paid off with the one stick for the IV. I love my husband, but it's painful to say he was/is right...

Yesterday was also nice because my treatment was scheduled nice and early. I was out of there at lunchtime and that's usually when I'm going in. I also sat next to someone who got to ring the bell after her last treatment and she was very encouraging. I congratulated her on being through chemo and she encouraged me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. All around, it was a pretty good day, except for the fact that I was so tired I slept for the remained of the day before class.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel coming fast and furious. April 27th cannot get here soon enough and then it's a month of recovery before my surgery. This hasn't been an easy journey, but I am actually glad to have gone through it now. There is a reason and a purpose for everything and I may not know what that is yet, but I am sure going to find out. Whether I am meant to share my story to be an encouragement for others facing similar challenges or if I can urge others to not be afraid of the doctor and go get checked out. So thank you for letting me share my story with you.

Until next time.

AD

Light at the end of the tunnel

Well yesterday marked my descent over the Round 2 of chemo hill. Only five more treatments to go!

This treatment went much better. The nurse even got the IV started on the first stick, which is unheard of for me. I did find out from the doctor that I may end up with a port though. Apparently the nurses hate having to stick me so many time to start the IV for treatment, that they have asked my doctor to put one in. 11 treatments down with only 5 to go, I thought I was in the clear. Apparently not.

My veins hate me. There I said it. Even with drinking more water than I have ever consumer in one week in my life, it's still hard to get an IV started. So I'm convinced my veins are secretly plotting revenge on me for something I did to them in a past life. Boo on you veins, boo on you!

Unfortunately the ease of this round is starting to fade. The muscle aches and the neuropathy are starting to set in. The muscle aches make it hard for me to fall asleep and stay asleep at night. Thankfully I've only experienced this in my legs, but it can spread over my whole body. And the neuropathy comes and goes in my hands and feet. It is the strangest feeling because mine is in my fingertips or toes. For my hands, it starts at my wrist (kind of like carpal tunnel) and radiates down into my palm and then into my fingers. I feel like my hands were asleep and just woke up to the pins and needles feeling. My feet are the same way, only the sensation starts in the arch of my foot and radiates to my toes. It's funny to watch me walk across the carpet when this is happening because my feet feel itchy!

I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, both with chemo and my class (only seven more to go)! Then comes the real fun. I have my surgery date. I'm both nervous and looking forward to end this journey. It's not going to be easy, but none of this has been. The surgery recovery is going to be hard and not pretty at all. I know though, that this is the only way that I will have peace of mind in the end. Knowing that I have done everything in my power to make sure this doesn't happen again, to make sure that I am here for the long haul. My cancer diagnosis wasn't the end of the world for me, it was the beginning of a new one. 2014 and 2015 have been tough and I don't see it getting easier any time soon. So I'm going to grit my teeth and do my best to get through with a smile on my face and hope that 2016 brings better health, luck, love, and happiness.

I mean come on, I have this face to come home to everyday!

Thank you again for all of the love, positive thoughts, and prayers you all have been sending.

Until next time.

AD